A Note To The Men Who Have Ruined It For Me

I’m a guy, and I help young women improve their lives. Nearly 90% of my career coaching clients were and are women in their early to mid twenties. I’ve been running a mentorship program on and off for a couple of years, and nearly all of my mentees were women. The analysts I hire to work for me have been predominantly young women. My following on Instagram and LinkedIn is…well, you guessed it. Women. Mostly young.

And it’s no surprise that this is the case. The stuff I talk about is geared toward young women. When I talk about careers, I talk about the touchy feely emotional stuff about careers. As a spiritual coach and mentor, I help young women get in touch with their basest feelings and encourage them to be their authentic self. My definition of spirituality is about the therapeutic journey combined with meditation. Not exactly topics that most young men are clamoring to hear about.

And thanks to my nearly constant involvement in young women’s lives, I get them. Being a young woman in your 20s is fucking hard. Most men want to objectify you and use you for sex. Most women are jealous of you because according to society, you’re Extremely Powerful because of your sexual prowess, and they want to take you down. And you? You’re still getting to know yourself. You’re told to be sweet and demure, but you also want to get ahead in the workplace, you have to be aggressive. And if you’re too aggressive, you’re labeled a bitch. So yeah, women in their 20’s have a lot of issues to deal with, just like we all do.

I’ve talked ad nauseum about why I support, mentor, and help young women, and if you want to read more about it, search through my blog to find more. And no, it’s not because I’m trying to manipulate them into being my sexual slaves. Because, be honest with me here, as you’re reading this article you’re probably thinking to yourself “yup, he’s in it for the sexual gratification.” You are totally judging me, but I don’t blame you for that.

Which brings me to the crux of this article: I may have pure intentions in my actions, but many other men do not. And nearly every woman, young and old, has been harassed in some form by men. And many of these women have been emotionally abused or tricked by men who Look Like Me, who have initially been kind and caring but have eventually shown their true colors and said “yeah, it was all an act. I really do just want to use you as a sexual object.”

And this all comes down to the fact that most men just can’t bring themselves to look at young women as human beings. They’re objects that serve a purpose, whether that purpose is to prove that they’re still sexually viable by flirting with them, or as some sort of power thing, or as a sexual fantasy for titillating purposes. Most men don’t see young women as the people that they are: human beings with psychological issues, feelings, incredible talent, brilliance, desires, wishes, and other forms of humanness.

Are these men to blame? Yes and no. Society flashes images of young women as objects in the media, advertising and television. It’s not like you see young women hocking pharma drugs, amiright? So men are used to objectifying women, and bring that into their real lives as well.

But c’mon, guys. You can do better. Objectification is shitty. You wouldn’t like it if it were done to you. You want to be seen as a person, and so do young women. So May I suggest getting to know them for the wonderfully flawsome people that they are, and less as the objects that fill a hole in your empty lives. Because it’s time to grow up. And personally, you’re the reason that everyone thinks I’m a predator. I’m the exception to the rule, which is a sad state of affairs.


I use data to understand people. I also help early career professionals find career happiness.

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Jon Tesser

I use data to understand people. I also help early career professionals find career happiness.